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Gotta love mainstream researchers -- you can always count on them to ignore their own findings when they don't match a predetermined outcome. A new study finds that people who eat the most meat and fried foods and drink booze regularly live the longest... so naturally, the authors won't mention that little detail. Nononononononono... that might confuse the message -- and the message is you shouldn't eat any of those things or drink regularly, right? Well, in a word: WRONG! The researchers split more than 2,500 dieters between 70 and 79 years old into six groups based on their diets, which was utterly unnecessary since four of the six groups got the bulk of their calories from sugars and other carbs. The remaining two groups were labeled "meat, fried foods, and alcohol" and "healthy foods" -- with "healthy" defined as low-fat foods and whole grains. Gotta love the lack of subtlety there -- the researchers pretty much announced in advance which group they would declare "healthy." And after tracking these dieters for 10 years, they didn't let us down: The researchers claimed the "healthy" eaters were healthiest and least likely to die. But the data in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association tells another story -- because it turns out the beef-and-brews crowd lived just as long and just as healthy. To her great credit, Washington Post columnist Jennifer LaRue Huget called them on this... and the best the researchers could do was mutter that the result was "unexpected." That's right, kids -- a career in research is easy: If you don't expect it, you don't have to report it! The researchers then claimed the meat eaters and "healthy" eaters actually had very similar diets. OK, I'll buy that... so allow me to reach the conclusion that's obviously terrifying these people: It's OK to eat meat, enjoy fried foods and drink booze -- so go ahead and get your fill. And if you want to live longer, skip the sugar. There. That wasn't so hard, was it?
William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.
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To Scurve's front door